Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different
gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other Gods.
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find
someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Love helps us to communicate with God
Sometimes we make love with our eyes.
Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where
it goes.
Love is like a fire. Whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn
your house down, you'll never know.
Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love because a heart can
break but a circle goes on forever.
Valentine's Day is a day to express your feelings and renew the bond of
love you share with your Valentine. To make this Valentine Day
memorable for your beloved declare your love to the world by sending a
cute and heartfelt Valentine's Day message to us!! We will carry your
message along with your name in this page dedicated to lovers and their
messages.
LOVE
I am so happy to share with you my first valentine's day, I am sure
without you my love is tasteless, I am yours and only yours. When I am
with you there is no need of any other person or anything, I believe
you are my life, I love you Mamica.
Dear
I LOVE YOU. I hope to give you reasons to live for tomorrow and
forever, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.You are my Valentine not just on the
14th of the second month of each year but throughout the life.
Dear
I thank God and you for the privilege of having you in my life. You are
so special to me and this day and everyday i want you to know how much
i need and want you in my life. God will bring everything together. I
love you.
My Soldier
I love you, 100 times.
I miss you 2,000 times .
I want to be with you always and forever!!
I love you 1 in a million times of each day.
I want to make you mine.
I love you for you and only.
I mean every word!
I think about you more and more every 24hrs and 7days a week.
My heart bleeds for you .
My tears fall for you cause I'm lonely.
Many times I think of the day that you say those 4 words .
In the days that you are away it's how many times I say I LOVE YOU AND
TRULY WANT U.
I miss you even 365 days of the year.
Sweetie just know that I really, truly & madly love you.
COME HOME SOON.
Love
Dear
Happy Valentines Day!
Or should I say talentines again, I don’t know!! I just want you to
know that you make me feel like it's Valentines Day 365 days a year.
The presents are just for fun. Past 3 years have been great. I hope we
have many more to come. I want you to always be my Valentine, today and
forever. I love you more than anything.
Dear
I really like you and we should get 2 no each even better!!
Happy Valentines Day !!!
Wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day. This message is to let you know
that you are thought of always. May God give you everything you wish
for. My heart will pray for you, for your happiness wherever you are.
Jill my love, you are all I need.
Jill my love, I will die for thee.
Jill my love, your what I've been waiting for.
Jill my love, I love you more and more.
HAPPY VALENTINE DAY
jaan,
You are the world to me. U make my life totally complete. They say that
absence from those whom we love is worse than death, but I feel that in
absence we realize how strong our love is. I feel so complete with you
and as you have always told me that 'if our love is true, God will
surely show us the way'. I love you with every beat of my heart. Happy
Valentines Day!!!
Love u
Each day your smile becomes my morning star,
I look at you & then my feelings shine,
From you I learn far more than words or numbers,
You're the book that someday will be mine.
You're the one whose love my love of learning,
Will one day trace in its ancestral line,
For all the ways you help me grow towards beauty,
I ask you please to by my valentine.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY-2009
Mi,
Happy Valentines Day!
I´ve enjoyed singing stupid songs with you, boys and specially with
Perebis! Good luck at this day.
Big Kiss
Fê
Fe,
Happy valentine´s Day!
I love doing Cambridge with you. Our presentation was the best. I hope
everything with boys goes fine. Kisses
Mi
If I never met you, I wouldn't like u.
If I never like you i wouldn't love you.
If I wouldn't love you I wouldn't miss you.
but... I did ,, I do ,, I will.
Jaan,
U r a world to me. U make my life so complete...They say that absence
from those whom we love is worse than death.. but i feel that in
absence we realise how strong our love is. I feel so complete with
you..and as u have always told me that if our love is true.. God will
surely show us a way... I love u with every beat of my heart...Happy
Valentines Day!!!
Love u Hamesha...
Hi Sweetu,
I wanna tell you that u r my life. I love you from bottom of my heart.
I can't stay without you. U r my Valentine.
To My Wife that is My Life...
I just want to say that I Love You A lot and I`m Missing You...But i
promise that we`ll celebrate this day with lots of love and
happiness....
I just want you to know you are my sun, my love, my angel... you have
brought too much joy to my life... you make me a better person... you
made me discover the real sense of love.. the true love...
Je T`Aime Tres Fort Mon Petit Amour
Happy Valentine's Day
To my sweetest darling
Thanks for making my life so beautiful and colorful!!
Always remember I Love U the Most!
Only your's
To the one I love.
Only God knows how much I love you. I wish we could be together again
because I miss you so much. I love you. Hope you feel the same way too.
Hi dear
How are you? I'm missing you so much. Happy Valentines Day to you dear.
Thank you for being the wings beneath my feet. I will always love you.
I love you unconditionally and will never let you go. You are my
noenoe, my love, my darling, my heart & my everything. Lets be together
always. I love you.
If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I would
not love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I
do and I will.
Roses are red, violets are purple & honey is sweet.
You are nice, cute, handsome and a kind person to chat on always. Hope
you like this. Wish you a nice and Happy Valentines Day. I'll only
think about you on this special occasion of love.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
WISDOM SMS AND JOKES
Wisdom Messages
?A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.
?life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss
it
?Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly
?Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off
?If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything
?da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1 without
a dream
?To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the
world
?It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not
?Be yourself, there are enough other people
?dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile
?if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt
completely understood the situation!
?FRIENDS are like stars…you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they
are always there!..
?A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who
Doesn't Is A Fool Forever
?Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean
2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!
?Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur
eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go
wen u want to stay
?What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the
person who makes you cry in the first place?
?You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do
SO much more
?2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin
beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u
only want the best.
?If you are the flame you can't be burned
?Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why
we call it the present!
?Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes
?The virtue of love isnt finding the perfect person, but by loving the
imperfect person perfectly.
?If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?
?u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u
try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u
live.u live coz u luv
?have u eva notcied a heart is two upside down teardrops
?they say true love is just round the corner i must be walking in
circles
?Luv is like a glass. If u break it, it’s hard to fix, And even if you
manage that , it’ll never be the same.
?People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But
sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice its on its
way out.
?God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to
see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants you to
look for the other
?Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to
urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite the
silence.
?True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending!
?Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies.
?Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in
love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just do!
?If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth
tripping over.
?love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u
understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but how u
hold on.
?Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get
out
?Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart
?love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION!
?*In Reality*…. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself...
?You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.
?the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love. love somebofy else
?People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u become.
?Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!
?Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point ?be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top
?Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.
?When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?
?boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion
?while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along
?If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me. ?
Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks
?A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.
?life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss
it
?Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly
?Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off
?If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything
?da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1 without
a dream
?To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the
world
?It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not
?Be yourself, there are enough other people
?dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile
?if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt
completely understood the situation!
?FRIENDS are like stars…you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they
are always there!..
?A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who
Doesn't Is A Fool Forever
?Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean
2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!
?Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur
eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go
wen u want to stay
?What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the
person who makes you cry in the first place?
?You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do
SO much more
?2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin
beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u
only want the best.
?If you are the flame you can't be burned
?Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why
we call it the present!
?Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes
?The virtue of love isnt finding the perfect person, but by loving the
imperfect person perfectly.
?If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?
?u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u
try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u
live.u live coz u luv
?have u eva notcied a heart is two upside down teardrops
?they say true love is just round the corner i must be walking in
circles
?Luv is like a glass. If u break it, it’s hard to fix, And even if you
manage that , it’ll never be the same.
?People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But
sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice its on its
way out.
?God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to
see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants you to
look for the other
?Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to
urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite the
silence.
?True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending!
?Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies.
?Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in
love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just do!
?If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth
tripping over.
?love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u
understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but how u
hold on.
?Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get
out
?Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart
?love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION!
?*In Reality*…. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself...
?You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.
?the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love. love somebofy else
?People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u become.
?Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!
?Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point ?be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top
?Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.
?When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?
?boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion
?while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along
?If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me. ?
Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks
LAWS OF SEX
Laws of sex
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
28. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
29. Love is a hole in the heart.
30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
32. Do it only with the best.
33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-Letter words to convey its full meaning.
34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. 36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
39. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
44. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
45. Never say no.
46. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her. 47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
48. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
50. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51. Love comes in spurts.
52. The world does not revolve on an axis.
53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
54. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
56. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
59. "This won't hurt, I promise."
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
28. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
29. Love is a hole in the heart.
30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
32. Do it only with the best.
33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-Letter words to convey its full meaning.
34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. 36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
39. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
44. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
45. Never say no.
46. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her. 47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
48. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
50. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51. Love comes in spurts.
52. The world does not revolve on an axis.
53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
54. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
56. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
59. "This won't hurt, I promise."
FOOL SMS COLLECTION
• U are a...
B. I. T. C. H.
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Horny
r u smiling now?
*YOU BITCH*
• You are a GHONCHU..
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi...
• Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then Make a Place,
4 Me in ur Heart!!
I May come there any time!
Ur's Faithfully,
"HeArT aTtAcK"
• Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se ek DIL tumhare liye dhadakta tha aur dhadakta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur's own DEAR.
• A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!
• SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
... THE ZOO ..
• Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tounge...
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..
• You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don't misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere.
• Plz don't read this
Nahi to
ho jayega
Kya?
Arre wahi
jis se hum darte hai
?
?
?
wahi jo is umar me aksar ho jata hai
?
?
?
dekha ho gaya na
?
?
TIME WASTE!!
• Attendence..
Pappu
Yes Sir
Bablu
Yes Sir
Tinku
Yes Sir
Ullu
??
Ullu
??
Ullu
Button dabana band kar, teri baari hai, attendence lagwa.
• If u don't mind
If u don't feel bad
If don't hesitate
Please......
give me a
K
ki
kis
kiss
kiss......
kissan jam bottle
just RS.22.50 only. soon......
• Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...
book from your bag and study..
B. I. T. C. H.
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Horny
r u smiling now?
*YOU BITCH*
• You are a GHONCHU..
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi...
• Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then Make a Place,
4 Me in ur Heart!!
I May come there any time!
Ur's Faithfully,
"HeArT aTtAcK"
• Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se ek DIL tumhare liye dhadakta tha aur dhadakta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur's own DEAR.
• A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!
• SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
... THE ZOO ..
• Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tounge...
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..
• You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don't misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere.
• Plz don't read this
Nahi to
ho jayega
Kya?
Arre wahi
jis se hum darte hai
?
?
?
wahi jo is umar me aksar ho jata hai
?
?
?
dekha ho gaya na
?
?
TIME WASTE!!
• Attendence..
Pappu
Yes Sir
Bablu
Yes Sir
Tinku
Yes Sir
Ullu
??
Ullu
??
Ullu
Button dabana band kar, teri baari hai, attendence lagwa.
• If u don't mind
If u don't feel bad
If don't hesitate
Please......
give me a
K
ki
kis
kiss
kiss......
kissan jam bottle
just RS.22.50 only. soon......
• Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...
book from your bag and study..
CUTE SMS
o behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
o behind every SUCCESSFUL woman
behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
o Acute Angina
A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.
o A boy and gal of 5th class asked(In Urdu)
A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi". By Sumit
Musharraf said to his mother.(In Urdu)
Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro.
75yrz old man got married with a girl o
o 75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
o HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec
o A husband was stung by
A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.
Maid cleaning bedroom found
Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off.
Question?
o who is stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
o Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight!! (In Urdu)
o Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."By chumma khan
(In Urdu)
chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki! By baasha
A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????By Forever
Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
o behind every SUCCESSFUL woman
behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
o Acute Angina
A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.
o A boy and gal of 5th class asked(In Urdu)
A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi". By Sumit
Musharraf said to his mother.(In Urdu)
Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro.
75yrz old man got married with a girl o
o 75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
o HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec
o A husband was stung by
A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.
Maid cleaning bedroom found
Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off.
Question?
o who is stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
o Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight!! (In Urdu)
o Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."By chumma khan
(In Urdu)
chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki! By baasha
A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????By Forever
Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
GOODNIGHT SMS
• Andheri Kabar
Sunsan Kabristan
Suni Haveli
Kala Aasman
Bijli Karki
Aya Tofan
Raat Ho Gae
So Ja Shaitan
Good Night
• tiny stars shining bright its time for me too say good night soo close ur eyes and snuggle up m wishing u sweet dreams tongiht....
• Ending my day without saying goodnight is emptiness inside, so before i go to sleep im wishing u gudnyt w/ a blown kiss 2 keep u warm till the morning light. Ü
• Lying on my bed,
Lookin @ the clock,
I know that its time 2 zzz,
I wonder how have u been today…
Hope that everything is fine..
Wish u sweet dreamz n sleep tight!
• Hi Moon! Dim Ur light.
Hello Wind! Breeze Soft.
Hi Flower! Blossom Slowly.
Hello Earth! Spin Gently.
Coz my friend is going to sleep.
Good Night
• No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!
• Whenever you have a DREAM inside your HEART,
Never let it go coz DREAMS are the TINY SEEDS,
From which BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW GROWS
Have a wonderful dream tonight…
GOOD NIGHT
• Welcome aboard2 "Sweet Dreams" airline, all passengers on bed, hug ur pillows as the flight will be leaving soon 2dream land. Enjoy ur time ;) G'NITE!
• If dreamz vrn't dreamz n if dreamz cum true, i wdnt b here i wd b vth u. Distance is 1 thing dat kips us apart bt u r olwaz in my HEART. Gd nyt...
• Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.
• On this cold cold nite,in My small small ROOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!
• windows of soul begin 2 close
Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility and soon windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the dreamland!! Sweet Dreams!
• DUNIA mein reh k spno mein kho jao,
KISI ko apna bna Lo, YA kisi k ho jao,
AGR kuch b nhi hota toh
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chdar or takiya lo or so jao. GOOD NIGHT.
• As day turns to NIGHT, keep your worries out of SIGHT. No matter how TOUGH the world may seem you still deserve the SWEETEST DREAM ! GUD NIGHT!
• Once the moon winks at u tonight, I wish sweet dreams embrace you tight. Hope your day was quite all right & now I bid u a lovely goodnight.
• Stars are out, the moon is up, 1 more Hug, 1 more smile, Kiss u once, Kiss u twice, now it’s time 4 bed. Close ur eyes n sleep tight! Gud Night!
Sunsan Kabristan
Suni Haveli
Kala Aasman
Bijli Karki
Aya Tofan
Raat Ho Gae
So Ja Shaitan
Good Night
• tiny stars shining bright its time for me too say good night soo close ur eyes and snuggle up m wishing u sweet dreams tongiht....
• Ending my day without saying goodnight is emptiness inside, so before i go to sleep im wishing u gudnyt w/ a blown kiss 2 keep u warm till the morning light. Ü
• Lying on my bed,
Lookin @ the clock,
I know that its time 2 zzz,
I wonder how have u been today…
Hope that everything is fine..
Wish u sweet dreamz n sleep tight!
• Hi Moon! Dim Ur light.
Hello Wind! Breeze Soft.
Hi Flower! Blossom Slowly.
Hello Earth! Spin Gently.
Coz my friend is going to sleep.
Good Night
• No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!
• Whenever you have a DREAM inside your HEART,
Never let it go coz DREAMS are the TINY SEEDS,
From which BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW GROWS
Have a wonderful dream tonight…
GOOD NIGHT
• Welcome aboard2 "Sweet Dreams" airline, all passengers on bed, hug ur pillows as the flight will be leaving soon 2dream land. Enjoy ur time ;) G'NITE!
• If dreamz vrn't dreamz n if dreamz cum true, i wdnt b here i wd b vth u. Distance is 1 thing dat kips us apart bt u r olwaz in my HEART. Gd nyt...
• Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.
• On this cold cold nite,in My small small ROOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!
• windows of soul begin 2 close
Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility and soon windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the dreamland!! Sweet Dreams!
• DUNIA mein reh k spno mein kho jao,
KISI ko apna bna Lo, YA kisi k ho jao,
AGR kuch b nhi hota toh
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chdar or takiya lo or so jao. GOOD NIGHT.
• As day turns to NIGHT, keep your worries out of SIGHT. No matter how TOUGH the world may seem you still deserve the SWEETEST DREAM ! GUD NIGHT!
• Once the moon winks at u tonight, I wish sweet dreams embrace you tight. Hope your day was quite all right & now I bid u a lovely goodnight.
• Stars are out, the moon is up, 1 more Hug, 1 more smile, Kiss u once, Kiss u twice, now it’s time 4 bed. Close ur eyes n sleep tight! Gud Night!
GOOD MORNING SMS
A person who loves u make u realize how wonderful the world is, but its a frnd who makes u realize how wonderful U are 2 the world.gud mrng
Like the fresh
dewdrops
of a
new day..
May GOD"s loving hands be upon u 2day to freshen ur soul as u start the day. GudMorning.
HÖt Teä!
///
Cl"""'l Speciälly
t__j 4 Ü
i miXed with:
1 tsp. öf Love
2 tsp. öf SMilE
3 tsp. öf CÄRE
HÖpe it Mäde
YÖÜ Häppy & Reläx Ür MiNd
GUD MRNG
If someone argues or makes fun of u dont mind it coz it is law of nature that the tree that bears the sweetest fruits gets the maximum no. Of stones...gud mrng.
What makes some Ppl dearer is not jst d happiness that u feel wen u meet them, but d emptiness u feel wen they ar not around..Gud morng
a day may start or end without a msg from me..but believe me it wouldn't start or end without from me thinking of u.... Gud morning!
Morning greetings doesn’t only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
Knock!Knock! May I come into ur world? I bring no flowers, no cakes but wishes to keep U fresh, prayer to keep u healthy & luv to keep u smiling. Gud Morning!
Hey, good morning! Rise n shine! As u open ur eyes to greet d morning sun, I wish that you would be well n fine. :-)
May God stay with you this day, and give you peace of mind...May He give you a happy heart, and His love all the time...GOOD MORNING and GOD BLESS!!!
“ Wishing u…………….
G Morning O Afternoon O Evening D Night
hey, 4 in 1 SMS pack -
I save the money………………… ”
“ No Shadows 2 Depress U, Only Joys 2 Surround U,Many FrieNds 2 LoveU,God Himself 2 BlessU,These r my Wishes 4U,2day 2morow & Everyday 2 u !! Good morning ”
Welcome
d new
morning
wid a
Smile
on ur "Face",
Love
in ur "Heart"
Gud Thoughts
in ur Mind
& U will
hav a Wonderful Day.
Wish u
A Lovly mrng
In life, we have a lot2 lose and very little 2 choose. whenever u get a chance 2 choose, do it with wisely and see that u never lose what u choose. gud mrng
Like the fresh
dewdrops
of a
new day..
May GOD"s loving hands be upon u 2day to freshen ur soul as u start the day. GudMorning.
HÖt Teä!
///
Cl"""'l Speciälly
t__j 4 Ü
i miXed with:
1 tsp. öf Love
2 tsp. öf SMilE
3 tsp. öf CÄRE
HÖpe it Mäde
YÖÜ Häppy & Reläx Ür MiNd
GUD MRNG
If someone argues or makes fun of u dont mind it coz it is law of nature that the tree that bears the sweetest fruits gets the maximum no. Of stones...gud mrng.
What makes some Ppl dearer is not jst d happiness that u feel wen u meet them, but d emptiness u feel wen they ar not around..Gud morng
a day may start or end without a msg from me..but believe me it wouldn't start or end without from me thinking of u.... Gud morning!
Morning greetings doesn’t only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
Knock!Knock! May I come into ur world? I bring no flowers, no cakes but wishes to keep U fresh, prayer to keep u healthy & luv to keep u smiling. Gud Morning!
Hey, good morning! Rise n shine! As u open ur eyes to greet d morning sun, I wish that you would be well n fine. :-)
May God stay with you this day, and give you peace of mind...May He give you a happy heart, and His love all the time...GOOD MORNING and GOD BLESS!!!
“ Wishing u…………….
G Morning O Afternoon O Evening D Night
hey, 4 in 1 SMS pack -
I save the money………………… ”
“ No Shadows 2 Depress U, Only Joys 2 Surround U,Many FrieNds 2 LoveU,God Himself 2 BlessU,These r my Wishes 4U,2day 2morow & Everyday 2 u !! Good morning ”
Welcome
d new
morning
wid a
Smile
on ur "Face",
Love
in ur "Heart"
Gud Thoughts
in ur Mind
& U will
hav a Wonderful Day.
Wish u
A Lovly mrng
In life, we have a lot2 lose and very little 2 choose. whenever u get a chance 2 choose, do it with wisely and see that u never lose what u choose. gud mrng
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMS AND WISHES
Birthday Sms
someone likes you
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY
someone never ever forgets your birthday
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday.\"HAPPY BIRTHDAY\".
god said a gem is going to be born
In my past life, god said a gem is going to be born on (date) and i give u a boon that u get to be this beautiful gem's friend...couldnt ask for anything more but thank the god for giving me a friend like u...happy birthday and dont forget that someone somewhere is wishing for ur happiness on every falling star. MAY ALMIGHTYS BEST BLESSINGS
Nice feeling when you know that someone likes you
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
Birthday is the main festival
Birthday is the main festival with invitations, wishes, gifts, friends, and free animated ecards.
Have a great birthday
The museum curator called today and spoke in animated tones. He has a team of scientists who want to carbon date your bones!! Have a great birthday
blessings on ur BIRTHDAY
may almighty shower u with blessings on ur BIRTHDAY.luv u aiways..
delicated blossom, fantastic people
Flying papers , multi colours of balloon, delicated blossom, fantastic people, love and laughter. What it describes? HAPPY BIRTHDAY
special day a costly affair!!!! Your birth day is the perfect day to say I care, because you will remeber me when u certainly make it a big affair, and when you do hold a party... I bet you will be the one who would care to make ur special day a costly affair!!!!
wishing you a wonderful
Apun wishing you a wonderful, super duper, zabardast, extra bariya, extra special ekdum mast n dhinchak bole to ekdum jhakaas, JANAM DIN mubarak ho..
Wishing my friendly inner voice a very happy birthday
Today is a day of celebration. Why? Because, years ago on the same day, GOD sent me my flesh and bone conscience. Wishing my friendly inner voice a very happy birthday.
May u Live lOng as Long more
Many many happy resturns of the and May u Live lOng as Long more Than Devil
aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga
Dua hai Ki Kamyabi ke har sikhar pe aap ka naam hoga, aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga, Himat se mushkilon ka samana karna hamari dua hai ki waqt bhi ek din aapka gulam hoga. Happy Birthday
GOLDEN RAY OF THE SUN
Let the GOD decorate each GOLDEN RAY OF THE SUN reaching u with wishes of Success, Happiness and prosperity 4 U, Wish you a super duper happy birthday
May God bless you with health
Wish you a many many happy returns of the day. May God bless you with health, wealth and prosperity in your life
sorry i missed your birthday
I am sorry i missed your birthday, you have had so many i have lost track
wonderful moments and shinning dreams
May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shinning dreams
wish Happy Birthday
Its always a treat to wish Happy Birthday to someone so Sweet
Blessed with happiness
I hope that your day is Blessed with happiness and joy Sunshine and friendship Happy Birthday
Step by step
Step by step the journey goes on,
Little by little it may seem so long.
Forget about your past, you can't change it,
Forget about your future, you cant predict it.
Just think about present, you can handle it.
Enjoy presents every moment & be happy....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to U....!
someone likes you
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY
someone never ever forgets your birthday
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday.\"HAPPY BIRTHDAY\".
god said a gem is going to be born
In my past life, god said a gem is going to be born on (date) and i give u a boon that u get to be this beautiful gem's friend...couldnt ask for anything more but thank the god for giving me a friend like u...happy birthday and dont forget that someone somewhere is wishing for ur happiness on every falling star. MAY ALMIGHTYS BEST BLESSINGS
Nice feeling when you know that someone likes you
Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
Birthday is the main festival
Birthday is the main festival with invitations, wishes, gifts, friends, and free animated ecards.
Have a great birthday
The museum curator called today and spoke in animated tones. He has a team of scientists who want to carbon date your bones!! Have a great birthday
blessings on ur BIRTHDAY
may almighty shower u with blessings on ur BIRTHDAY.luv u aiways..
delicated blossom, fantastic people
Flying papers , multi colours of balloon, delicated blossom, fantastic people, love and laughter. What it describes? HAPPY BIRTHDAY
special day a costly affair!!!! Your birth day is the perfect day to say I care, because you will remeber me when u certainly make it a big affair, and when you do hold a party... I bet you will be the one who would care to make ur special day a costly affair!!!!
wishing you a wonderful
Apun wishing you a wonderful, super duper, zabardast, extra bariya, extra special ekdum mast n dhinchak bole to ekdum jhakaas, JANAM DIN mubarak ho..
Wishing my friendly inner voice a very happy birthday
Today is a day of celebration. Why? Because, years ago on the same day, GOD sent me my flesh and bone conscience. Wishing my friendly inner voice a very happy birthday.
May u Live lOng as Long more
Many many happy resturns of the and May u Live lOng as Long more Than Devil
aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga
Dua hai Ki Kamyabi ke har sikhar pe aap ka naam hoga, aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga, Himat se mushkilon ka samana karna hamari dua hai ki waqt bhi ek din aapka gulam hoga. Happy Birthday
GOLDEN RAY OF THE SUN
Let the GOD decorate each GOLDEN RAY OF THE SUN reaching u with wishes of Success, Happiness and prosperity 4 U, Wish you a super duper happy birthday
May God bless you with health
Wish you a many many happy returns of the day. May God bless you with health, wealth and prosperity in your life
sorry i missed your birthday
I am sorry i missed your birthday, you have had so many i have lost track
wonderful moments and shinning dreams
May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shinning dreams
wish Happy Birthday
Its always a treat to wish Happy Birthday to someone so Sweet
Blessed with happiness
I hope that your day is Blessed with happiness and joy Sunshine and friendship Happy Birthday
Step by step
Step by step the journey goes on,
Little by little it may seem so long.
Forget about your past, you can't change it,
Forget about your future, you cant predict it.
Just think about present, you can handle it.
Enjoy presents every moment & be happy....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to U....!
SOME USEFUL TIPS JOKES
Judge: ‘The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn’t want to see you here Again’. Accused: ‘That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they would not believe me.’
What is your age?’ -asked the Judge. ‘Remember you are under oath’. ‘Twenty-one years and some months,’ -the woman answered. ‘How many months?’ -the Judge persisted. ‘One hundred and eight.’
Chemistry Teacher: ‘Can you give me the formula for water?’ Student: ‘H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-.’ Chemistry Teacher: ‘Where did you get an idea like that?’
Student: ‘You told us the other day it was H to O.’
Judge: ‘How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?’ Prisoner: ‘How do I know, your honour? I haven’t heard the evidence yet.’
Doctor: ‘Nurse! Did you take this patient’s temperature?’ Nurse: ‘Why, doctor? Is it missing?’
The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and cried: ‘Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. I don’t know what to do!’ Everyone looked the other way, except for a middle-aged gentleman who rushed into the lady’s house, found her young son, turned him upside down and shook him until the coin fell out of his mouth. ‘Oh, thank you!’- cried the lady. ‘Are you a doctor?’ ‘No madam,’ -replied the middle-aged man. ‘I’m from the Income Tax Department.’
Teacher: ‘Mundre, can you tell me which month is the shortest?’
Mundre: ‘It’s May, miss.’
Teacher: ‘No, it isn’t. The shortest month is February.’
Mundre: ‘But, miss, February has eight letters in it while May only has three!’
Difficult Question
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the birds and the bees. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman
If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to avoid saying these:
• "Sure you'll get your figure back. We'll just search 1985 to see where you left it."
• "How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"
• "What's the big deal? If you can handle 'me' going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."
• "Hey, when you're finished puking in there, get me a beer, will ya?"
• "Yo, fatass! You're blocking the TV!"
• "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby!"
• "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
• "Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
• Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
• "Got milk?"
• "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney." Condom Size Tester
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" The kid embarrassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle !" Cyanide Please A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license." Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Top 8 Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say
8. Here honey, you use the remote.
7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
5. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4. Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
3. Aww, forget Monday Night Football, let's watch Melrose Place.
2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1. We never talk anymore.
10 Things You Don't Want To Hear In The Airport
10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."
9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."
8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."
7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"
6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."
5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."
4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."
3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."
2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."
1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"
Marketing Tips and Its definition
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
3 ways to catch a TIGER:
1:- NEWTON METHOD: let tiger catch you. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. u can catch tiger as observed.
2:- EINSTEIN METHOD:- run in opposite direction to tiger. According to theory of relativity tiger will run fast and get tired and then you will be able to catch it.
3:-According to most efficient POLICE METHOD:
Catch a CAT and torture it till it agrees that its the TIGER.
What is your age?’ -asked the Judge. ‘Remember you are under oath’. ‘Twenty-one years and some months,’ -the woman answered. ‘How many months?’ -the Judge persisted. ‘One hundred and eight.’
Chemistry Teacher: ‘Can you give me the formula for water?’ Student: ‘H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-.’ Chemistry Teacher: ‘Where did you get an idea like that?’
Student: ‘You told us the other day it was H to O.’
Judge: ‘How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?’ Prisoner: ‘How do I know, your honour? I haven’t heard the evidence yet.’
Doctor: ‘Nurse! Did you take this patient’s temperature?’ Nurse: ‘Why, doctor? Is it missing?’
The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and cried: ‘Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. I don’t know what to do!’ Everyone looked the other way, except for a middle-aged gentleman who rushed into the lady’s house, found her young son, turned him upside down and shook him until the coin fell out of his mouth. ‘Oh, thank you!’- cried the lady. ‘Are you a doctor?’ ‘No madam,’ -replied the middle-aged man. ‘I’m from the Income Tax Department.’
Teacher: ‘Mundre, can you tell me which month is the shortest?’
Mundre: ‘It’s May, miss.’
Teacher: ‘No, it isn’t. The shortest month is February.’
Mundre: ‘But, miss, February has eight letters in it while May only has three!’
Difficult Question
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the birds and the bees. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman
If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to avoid saying these:
• "Sure you'll get your figure back. We'll just search 1985 to see where you left it."
• "How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"
• "What's the big deal? If you can handle 'me' going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."
• "Hey, when you're finished puking in there, get me a beer, will ya?"
• "Yo, fatass! You're blocking the TV!"
• "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby!"
• "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
• "Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
• Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
• "Got milk?"
• "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney." Condom Size Tester
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" The kid embarrassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle !" Cyanide Please A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license." Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Top 8 Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say
8. Here honey, you use the remote.
7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
5. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4. Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
3. Aww, forget Monday Night Football, let's watch Melrose Place.
2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1. We never talk anymore.
10 Things You Don't Want To Hear In The Airport
10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."
9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."
8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."
7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"
6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."
5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."
4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."
3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."
2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."
1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"
Marketing Tips and Its definition
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
3 ways to catch a TIGER:
1:- NEWTON METHOD: let tiger catch you. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. u can catch tiger as observed.
2:- EINSTEIN METHOD:- run in opposite direction to tiger. According to theory of relativity tiger will run fast and get tired and then you will be able to catch it.
3:-According to most efficient POLICE METHOD:
Catch a CAT and torture it till it agrees that its the TIGER.
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