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Birthday Sms someone likes you Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY someone never ever forgets your birthday Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday.\"HAPPY BIRTHDAY\". god said a gem is going to be born In my past life, god said a gem is going to be born on (date) and i give u a boon that u get to be this beautiful gem's friend...couldnt ask for anything more but thank the god for giving me a friend like u...happy birthday and dont forget that someone somewhere is wishing for ur happiness on every falling star. MAY ALMIGHTYS BEST BLESSINGS Nice feeling when you know that someone likes you Its a nice feeling when you know that someone li...

Judge: ‘The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn’t want to see you here Again’. Accused: ‘That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they would not believe me.’ What is your age?’ -asked the Judge. ‘Remember you are under oath’. ‘Twenty-one years and some months,’ -the woman answered. ‘How many months?’ -the Judge persisted. ‘One hundred and eight.’ Chemistry Teacher: ‘Can you give me the formula for water?’ Student: ‘H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-.’ Chemistry Teacher: ‘Where did you get an idea like that?’ Student: ‘You told us the other day it was H to O.’ Judge: ‘How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?’ Prisoner: ‘How do I know, your honour? I haven’t heard the evidence yet.’ Doctor: ‘Nurse! Did you take this patient’s temperature?’ Nurse: ‘Why, doctor? Is it missing?’ The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and cried: ‘Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. I don’t know what to do!’ Everyone looked the other way, ex...

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress well; a couple of the real daring wear earrings. MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend. DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around. MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control. CAREER-MINDED: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way). APPLY IN PERSON: If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We have filled the job! Our call for resumes is just a legal formality. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You’ll need it to replace three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERS...

Q: What do you call a cow that has just had a baby? A: De-calf-inated! Q: What do you call sleeping male cattle? A: Bull-dozers! Q: What does a cow ride when her car is broken? A: A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle! Q: Where do cows go on their space vacation? A: The Moooon! Q: What is a cow’s favorite party game? A: MOO-sical chairs Q: How does a cow do math? A: A COW-culator! Q: What do cows read at the breakfast table? A: The moospaper! Q: Where do cows go on dates? A: The moovies! Q: What would you hear at a cow concert? A: Moosic! Fun Facts When animals graze in the pasture, they have to tear the grass by moving their heads. Cattle don’t have any cutting teeth in the front of their upper jaw, so they can’t just bite the grass off. The rumen can hold 40 gallons – that is as big as a bathtub! What sport uses a pigskin? Football. Many footballs are made out of cowhide, not pig skin! Beef by-products allow us to use 99% of every beef animal. Cattle use their tails as fly swatters. Cat...

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, ans the baby stork is crying again. The mother says, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the crap out of college students!" escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife,...

Geometry Jokes 1. What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? Tangent 2. What do you say when you see an empty parrot cage? Polygon 3. What do you call a crushed angle? A Rectangle 4. What did the Italian say when the witch doctor removed the curse? Hexagon 5. What did the little acorn say when he grew up? Geometry 6. What do you call an angle which is adorable? Acute angle 7. What do you use to tie up a package? A chord 8. What do you call a fierce beast? A line 9. What do you call more than one L? A parallel 10. What do you call people who are in favor of tractors? Protractors 11. What should you do when it rains? Coincide

CHILDREN’S JOKES: A DEVELOPMENTAL APPROACH Like any other form of cultural activity, the art of telling and understanding jokes requires a special kind of competence. Any joker needs to master culturally accepted patterns of what and when can, must and must not be ridiculous. However, what is ridiculous is not the same in children and in the grown up. Adult people have their own topics to laugh at, and their jokes contain some apparently more complicated logical devices. At the same time, we adults usually regard as silly many things that seem ridiculous to children. Taking a closer look, one can find that this “silliness” is quite logical in its own way. Schoolchildren themselves, from a certain age, start to distinguish so called “children’s jokes” which are still ridiculous for them, though already perceived as childish and silly. The way in which the same jokes are told and understood in groups of children of different age is quite revealing. Our illustrations have been collected...