FUNNY KIDS JOKES

Funny Kids Joke #1:

o A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other, and a string bean stuck in her ear.

She says to the doctor... "I don't feel good."

The doctor replies... "The problem is clear to me. You're not eating right!"

o What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you

o What did the silly comedian bake on his day off?
Cornbread

o What is black and white and pink all over?
An embarrassess zebra!

o What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
Let's meet in the valley

o What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor?
Robin Hood

o What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a little flushed

o Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
She was on a crash diet.

o Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies?
The rolls weren't good enough.

o Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.


Funny Kids Joke #2:

o What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Stinkerbell

o Why do birds fly south?
Because it is too far to walk.

o What time is it when an elephant sites on a fence?
Time to get a new fence.

o Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly

o What is the cannibals’ favorite game?
Swallow the leader.

o What do you call a scared dinosaur?
A nervous Rex.

o Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.

o Who granted the fish's wish?
The Fairy Cod Mother.


Funny Kids Joke #3:

o How do change a pumpkin into another vegetable?
You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash.

o Why is Dracula so unpopular?
He's a pain in the neck.

o If you are American outside of the bathroom what are you when you are inside the bathroom?
European (you're a peeing)

o What did the snail say when she climbed up on the turtle's back?
Wheeeeeeeeeeee

o Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.

o Who always steals the soap in the bathroom?
The robber ducky!

o What do you call a lamb attack ship?
A battlesheep!


o What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

o What kind of vegetable did Gus eat at the bowling alley?
A-spare-a-gus!

o What are grey, purple, pink, orange, yellow and blue?
An elephant holding a box of crayons!!

o What's the LONGEST word in the WHOLE WORLD?
S-MILE...because "s" is a mile from the end!



Funny Kids Joke #4:

o Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

o What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
"Is that you mommy?"

o What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

o How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

o What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

o What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

o Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll

o What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
ME!!!

o Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks.

o What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


Funny Kids Joke #5:

o Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

o What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.

o Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!

o What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!

o How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!

o Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!

o What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.

o What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.

o What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam!

o Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.



Funny Kids Joke #6:

o What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!


o Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!

o What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!

o What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers!

o Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He wanted a light snack!

o Why is the letter "G" scary?
It turns a host into a ghost

o What has 4 eyes but no face?
Mississippi!

o What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!

o What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of course!

o Why were 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789!



Funny Kids Joke #7:
o Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.

o How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

o What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse

o What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho Cheese

o Why did the sheep say "moo"?
It was learning a new language!

o What streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!

o What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar!

o What exam do young witches have to pass?
A spell-ing test!

o Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

o Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!



Funny Kids Joke #8:

o What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday, of course!

o What bow can't be tied?
A rainbow!

o What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you'll rise and shine!

o What does a teddy bear put in his house?
Fur-niture!

o What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.

o What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give milk shakes!

o Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shakes!

o What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?
Betty!

o Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo York

o Where did the computer go to dance?
To a disc-o.

o What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?
Russell



Funny Kids Joke #9:

o What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A Bed

o Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He was a chicken.

o What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

o What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point!

o How do you make a hotdog stand?
Steal its chair!

o Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!

o Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse

o What did one earthquake say to another?
It's not my fault!

o Where's an astronaut's favorite place on the computer?
The spacebar!

o What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sour puss!