FUNNY KIDS JOKES
Funny Kids Joke #1:
o A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other, and a string bean stuck in her ear.
She says to the doctor... "I don't feel good."
The doctor replies... "The problem is clear to me. You're not eating right!"
o What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you
o What did the silly comedian bake on his day off?
Cornbread
o What is black and white and pink all over?
An embarrassess zebra!
o What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
Let's meet in the valley
o What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor?
Robin Hood
o What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a little flushed
o Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
She was on a crash diet.
o Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies?
The rolls weren't good enough.
o Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
Funny Kids Joke #2:
o What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Stinkerbell
o Why do birds fly south?
Because it is too far to walk.
o What time is it when an elephant sites on a fence?
Time to get a new fence.
o Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly
o What is the cannibals’ favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
o What do you call a scared dinosaur?
A nervous Rex.
o Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.
o Who granted the fish's wish?
The Fairy Cod Mother.
Funny Kids Joke #3:
o How do change a pumpkin into another vegetable?
You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash.
o Why is Dracula so unpopular?
He's a pain in the neck.
o If you are American outside of the bathroom what are you when you are inside the bathroom?
European (you're a peeing)
o What did the snail say when she climbed up on the turtle's back?
Wheeeeeeeeeeee
o Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
o Who always steals the soap in the bathroom?
The robber ducky!
o What do you call a lamb attack ship?
A battlesheep!
o What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
o What kind of vegetable did Gus eat at the bowling alley?
A-spare-a-gus!
o What are grey, purple, pink, orange, yellow and blue?
An elephant holding a box of crayons!!
o What's the LONGEST word in the WHOLE WORLD?
S-MILE...because "s" is a mile from the end!
Funny Kids Joke #4:
o Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
o What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
"Is that you mommy?"
o What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
o How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
o What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
o What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
o Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
o What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
ME!!!
o Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks.
o What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Funny Kids Joke #5:
o Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
o What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
o Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
o What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!
o How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
o Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!
o What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.
o What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
o What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam!
o Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Funny Kids Joke #6:
o What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!
o Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!
o What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!
o What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers!
o Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He wanted a light snack!
o Why is the letter "G" scary?
It turns a host into a ghost
o What has 4 eyes but no face?
Mississippi!
o What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
o What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of course!
o Why were 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789!
Funny Kids Joke #7:
o Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
o How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!
o What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse
o What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho Cheese
o Why did the sheep say "moo"?
It was learning a new language!
o What streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!
o What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar!
o What exam do young witches have to pass?
A spell-ing test!
o Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
o Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
Funny Kids Joke #8:
o What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday, of course!
o What bow can't be tied?
A rainbow!
o What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you'll rise and shine!
o What does a teddy bear put in his house?
Fur-niture!
o What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.
o What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give milk shakes!
o Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shakes!
o What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?
Betty!
o Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo York
o Where did the computer go to dance?
To a disc-o.
o What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?
Russell
Funny Kids Joke #9:
o What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A Bed
o Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He was a chicken.
o What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".
o What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point!
o How do you make a hotdog stand?
Steal its chair!
o Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!
o Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse
o What did one earthquake say to another?
It's not my fault!
o Where's an astronaut's favorite place on the computer?
The spacebar!
o What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sour puss!
o A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other, and a string bean stuck in her ear.
She says to the doctor... "I don't feel good."
The doctor replies... "The problem is clear to me. You're not eating right!"
o What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you
o What did the silly comedian bake on his day off?
Cornbread
o What is black and white and pink all over?
An embarrassess zebra!
o What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
Let's meet in the valley
o What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor?
Robin Hood
o What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a little flushed
o Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
She was on a crash diet.
o Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies?
The rolls weren't good enough.
o Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
Funny Kids Joke #2:
o What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Stinkerbell
o Why do birds fly south?
Because it is too far to walk.
o What time is it when an elephant sites on a fence?
Time to get a new fence.
o Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly
o What is the cannibals’ favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
o What do you call a scared dinosaur?
A nervous Rex.
o Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.
o Who granted the fish's wish?
The Fairy Cod Mother.
Funny Kids Joke #3:
o How do change a pumpkin into another vegetable?
You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash.
o Why is Dracula so unpopular?
He's a pain in the neck.
o If you are American outside of the bathroom what are you when you are inside the bathroom?
European (you're a peeing)
o What did the snail say when she climbed up on the turtle's back?
Wheeeeeeeeeeee
o Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
o Who always steals the soap in the bathroom?
The robber ducky!
o What do you call a lamb attack ship?
A battlesheep!
o What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
o What kind of vegetable did Gus eat at the bowling alley?
A-spare-a-gus!
o What are grey, purple, pink, orange, yellow and blue?
An elephant holding a box of crayons!!
o What's the LONGEST word in the WHOLE WORLD?
S-MILE...because "s" is a mile from the end!
Funny Kids Joke #4:
o Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
o What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
"Is that you mommy?"
o What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
o How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
o What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
o What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
o Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
o What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
ME!!!
o Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks.
o What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Funny Kids Joke #5:
o Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
o What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
o Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
o What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!
o How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
o Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!
o What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.
o What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
o What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam!
o Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Funny Kids Joke #6:
o What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!
o Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!
o What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!
o What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers!
o Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He wanted a light snack!
o Why is the letter "G" scary?
It turns a host into a ghost
o What has 4 eyes but no face?
Mississippi!
o What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
o What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of course!
o Why were 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789!
Funny Kids Joke #7:
o Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
o How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!
o What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse
o What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho Cheese
o Why did the sheep say "moo"?
It was learning a new language!
o What streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!
o What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar!
o What exam do young witches have to pass?
A spell-ing test!
o Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
o Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
Funny Kids Joke #8:
o What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday, of course!
o What bow can't be tied?
A rainbow!
o What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you'll rise and shine!
o What does a teddy bear put in his house?
Fur-niture!
o What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.
o What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give milk shakes!
o Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shakes!
o What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?
Betty!
o Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo York
o Where did the computer go to dance?
To a disc-o.
o What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?
Russell
Funny Kids Joke #9:
o What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A Bed
o Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He was a chicken.
o What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".
o What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point!
o How do you make a hotdog stand?
Steal its chair!
o Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!
o Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse
o What did one earthquake say to another?
It's not my fault!
o Where's an astronaut's favorite place on the computer?
The spacebar!
o What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sour puss!
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