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Being asked to be the Wedding MC can be a nerve-wracking experience for many men. Responsible for making sure the reception timetable is adhered to, the wedding MC is also expected to be funny, although he doesn't give a speech unless he is also best man - the role was traditionally performed by the best man, but these days is often a separate function. However, the wedding MC is required to speak in public when introducing the speakers and making other announcements. How to Prepare Your Wedding MC Jokes The good news about weddings is that people will tend to laugh at anything that is even remotely funny and so your wedding MC jokes don't need to be the best you've ever heard. However, delivery and timing certainly help, so you should prepare your jokes in advance and practice speaking them aloud. A warm, friendly manner will go down well and make people more predisposed to like what you say. Don't try and be the center of attention, and make sure the jokes you use are

Funny Kids Joke #1: o A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other, and a string bean stuck in her ear. She says to the doctor... "I don't feel good." The doctor replies... "The problem is clear to me. You're not eating right!" o What did the chewing gum say to the shoe? I'm stuck on you o What did the silly comedian bake on his day off? Cornbread o What is black and white and pink all over? An embarrassess zebra! o What did one mountain say to the other mountain? Let's meet in the valley o What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor? Robin Hood o What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look a little flushed o Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table? She was on a crash diet. o Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies? The rolls weren't good enough. o Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere. Funny Kids Joke #2: o What do you ca

Funny Dogs Joke #1: A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a cute dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his long tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back o

Funny Football Joke #1: o Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. o What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison? They are both full of cockneys trying to get out. o How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway? Depends how thin you slice them. o What would you call a pregnant Man United fan? A dope carrier. o Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over... As he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier try to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are... "Where the hell am I?” The Cashier replies... "Don’t worry, it’s ok, you're

Funny Cat Joke #1: A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little bastard on the phone, I'm lost and need directions." Funny Cat Joke #2: One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to Heaven. There

Funny Girls Joke #1: "My husband claims to be a great sexual athlete, just because he always comes first." (Ellie Lane) "The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: 'It's a girl.'" (Shirley Chisholm) "A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after." (Gloria Steinem) "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times." (Sanskrit proverb) Funny Girls Joke #2: A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her... "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said... "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that what ever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The