Status King in the face book collection you love it i's funny

1 universe, 8 planets, 192 countries, 180,497 islands, 85 seas, 7 billion people & I’M STILL SINGLE

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half of My Energy Wasted on Random Krap!

⎝⎲⎵⎲⎠ Akbar Cullen McDonalds & KFC are true sculptors of modern society! They can turn your (_|_) into

(___|___) before you know

When a girl says "whatever", she really means; I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it.

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get tired, I put the mirror down!

"Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view, and the b looks like the side view

U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown

there are only 2 words in "i love you"... because "YOU" and "I" are counted as "1"...

┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction

Oh you're dating my ex? Cool. I'm eating a sandwich..you want those leftovers too?

"It takes around 2 years to learn to speak..."..but..."It takes a lifetime to learn what not to speak....."

One day you're gonna ask me whose life is more important? Yours or mine, I will say mine and you'll walk away never knowing you are my life

One day twitter, facebook, and youtube will combine to make the most time consuming website known to mankind. We'll call it "YOU TWIT FACE"

When somebody says you've changed, it's only because you stopped living your life their way.

In my dream your my life, In my life your my dream!!

♥ + ♥= Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 2 hearts beatin in the same rythm make butterflies

grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa